yes, miriam, i believe the light is within us but sometimes not even our inner eye can see it. it's all pitch black. that doesn't mean we won't find it again or that our belief is gone.

it's interesting (to me, anyway) that my last posts have been about "fat man and dancing girl" and "anniversary". the story of a fall and the hope of rising up again. and i also believe light, as you mention it, a guiding light, can also be found outside of us, as "[it] live(s) upon each corner / live(s) on every street".

thanks and much love,
fátima

---

chance is the only thing that doesn't happen by chance

kiseo sobet
mwan gaza nguvu kyeni mbololo"

"beautiful life
light so strong but soft"

from "in existence" by "beautiful world" - higly recommened

:-)
silent passion

---

"like a shadow, I am and I am not"

"...the story of a fall and the hope of rising up again"

Isn't this our true story, dear Fátima? Isn't this what makes us what we are? The fall and rising up again, no matter from what aspect you look at it? Isn't it all about the trying, the mistakes we make, the pain we learn, the constant doubting, the never ending struggling to keep on, even if with no particular predefined way. But always with the sweetness of believing there's one, and it's ahead of us? Isn't it about the pleasure of looking back and seeing how much we've travelled already? Isn't it about treasuring each ephemerous moment in its unique beauty, lost somewhere between a fall and a rise?

Life is a script we learn as we act. Where we're granted several takes, none of them with the same outcome, none to be chosen over the others. Where there's no other required performance than the trying again, and again. Where there's no final cut but the one our memory chooses in each particular moment.

Light and darkness intermingle. Success and failure are but one and the same. The others are in us, as we are in them. It's in the deepest of our souls that the exteriour invades us. It's only inside us that the private goes public. Each fall is a start of another rise, each rise leads to a new fall. Questions lie within the answers, as each answer is only worth when it paves the way to another question. Each loss is an encounter, each encounter a new loss. Nothing is forever given, nothing is forever taken. The flatland is a product of our dimensional perception. But our dimensions, as our perception, never cease to evolve.

The cycle is endless, as long as we can perceive ourselves alive.

These may be empty words to most, but they're what I keep saying to myself. And maybe I'm the others, maybe they're really who I am. Is there really a border?

Of course there is!
Of course there isn't!

Like in the song, I think that somehow, somewhere inside of us, we must be similar, if not the same. I guess it's when I search the deepest of myself that I manage to reach out.


And in the end of the day, what always remains is the story of a fall and the hope of rising up again. Isn't it?

j.c.


PS: A Portuguese hint to you. Do you know Jorge Palma's "Só"? It's where you can find me these days...

---

http://www.vega.net
http://setlists.vega.net
http://rustedpipe.vega.net

Dear J.C.,

"These may be empty words to most, but they're what I keep saying to myself. And maybe I'm the others, maybe they're really who I am. Is there really a border?"

They were not empty to me—in fact, they filled me up (yet another keeper of an e-mail to refer to when I need it—like now).


"And in the end of the day, what always remains is the story of a fall and the hope of rising up again. Isn't it?"

I am especially hoping that this part to be true (for fátima first, and then, for myself).

Much Love and Thanks for the thoughts, empathy, and caring in writing this. I am sure we will all benefit from it at one time or another.

With Love,
Catherine

---

"If we don't change the direction we are headed,
we will end up where we are going."

—Chinese Proverb

dear fátima,

keep writing....it is your gift, and with that, your strength and solace. selfishly, we all benefit

how fitting that my 1,000th post be to you—but as we know—not surprising, right?

much love and good thoughts across the ocean to you,
catherine

---

"If we don't change the direction we are headed,
we will end up where we are going."

—Chinese Proverb

dear jc,

yes, you're right, the words you quote from me reflect our humanity and the continuum of life. and you must know that i agree with you entirely, even if it were only from my posts here on the MB or on the old undertow. we have a "similar, if not the same" way of feeling things.

let me just add this: at the end of the day what is most important is what's "somewhere between a fall and a rise", how you go from one to the other. "truth is between", i wrote in a post above on this very same thread. between are also forgiveness and being forgiven, love, compassion, friendship, caring, but, because we're human, there can also be anger, fear, bitterness or sadness. "light and darkness intermingle". and, to me, it is in this *between* that we assert who we are by how we choose to bridge a fall and a rise. suzanne's songs are essentially about this, about this choice and this bridging, to me, anyway.

thank you so much for your words. same goes for anna and catherine - no, no surprise at all about your 1,000th post being to me: i'm very pleased to have an "electric towster" for a friend.

much love to all,
fátima

---

chance is the only thing that doesn't happen by chance

This is such a stupid post to make, but I can't help it. I'm going to go ahead and post it anyway.

This is a really great song by which to climb stairs, or probably do other things which are strenuous and behind which you need a driving force. The tempo is PERFECT for it. I'm still recovering from this blasted surgery I had, and while I'm okay for the most part, my energy is still a good bit lower than usual. So I was going to visit some friends and I had to climb a few flights of stairs to get to their apartment. After I had climbed about half the way up (30 stairs, maybe?) I was so tired, but I was listening to this song at the time on my iPod and somehow it just kept me going and I stepped to the beat and thought to myself "this would be a really good song by which to climb something like the stairs to the Statue of Liberty or somesuch building".

Go try it yourself, you will see that it works.

I guess it actually works, too, thematically - the show must go on, you must keep climbing the stairs, etc.

-M

This is indeed a bizarre song, at least the first time you hear it.. I even claimed once that it is the oddest song on any of Suzanne's albums (well, that and "Those Whole Girls"). Seriously, it is musically and lyrically different than the other songs on 99.9F, isn't it?

Anyway, a couple of days ago I heard the cover to this song by the group Self (from their album Feels Like Breakin' Sh*t, 1997). They give an interesting interpretation, and altogether they do the song justice (unlike some god awful covers I know, but let's not get into that). I recommend listening to it.

Yuval =8-)