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A Room With a View

Last post Fri, May 04 2007, 5:31 AM by suzanne-vega11. 10 replies.
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  • A Room With a View
    16059

    Top 75 Contributor
    Female
    Joined on 04-25-2006
    New York
     Tue, Aug 12 2003, 3:56 PM
    Hello,

    This will be my first lyrics-posting. This is something I wrote while I was bored out of my skull at work, which I'm sure is obvious once you read it. Strange thing is, I don't have chords to go with it yet, but it was in melody form in my head, if that makes sense. It's the first thing I wrote that has a title, and that came about because I went to save it as a text file, and that was MS Word's suggestion as a file name! :-)
    It's a little different from other stuff I've written, in the sense that I'm not usually so repetitious. Well, enough stalling, let me know what you think:

    "A Room With a View"

    A room with a view
    I’m looking at you
    In a building across the street
    It’s apparently true
    I’ve got nothing to do
    But stare across the street

    I can’t see your face
    You’re just a silhouette
    Dancing with shadows that I’ve never met
    It’s apparently true
    I’ve got nothing to do
    But look at you

    Smoke billows out of a vent, matches the sky
    Gray and white, I’m missing the light
    Of a sunny afternoon – what about you?
    What about you…

    A room with a view
    I’m looking at you
    Though I probably shouldn’t be
    It’s apparently true
    I’ve got no work to do
    But I’m not allowed to leave

    Smoke billows out of a vent, matches the sky
    Gray and white, I wish it was five
    In the afternoon - what about you?
    What about you…

    Thanks for reading.
    Kathleen

  • Re: A Room With a View
    16060 in reply to 16059

    Top 25 Contributor
    Female
    Joined on 04-25-2006
    Heidelberg
     Tue, Aug 12 2003, 4:11 PM
    Great thought to think more about a person in the opposite building than just "another working person".

    But I think this thought should become more important than that you have nothing to do. You mention it in every verse. I'm sort of missing the curiousity about the other person's life. But maybe that's not what you wanted to write about after all...

    Cheers,
    Annika
  • Re: A Room With a View
    16061 in reply to 16059

    Top 75 Contributor
    Female
    Joined on 04-25-2006
    New York
     Tue, Aug 12 2003, 4:39 PM
    Hmm, that's interesting to think about. I actually didn't have any intention when I was writing it, it just spilled onto the page that way. I wasn't even intending to write a song at the time, really, I just had my notebook out while I was staring blankly.
    I think if I revise it, I may try slanting it more about the person, rather than about boredom and feeling useless at work. I guess it was a product of my mood that day.

    Thanks for the input,
    Kathleen
  • Re: A Room With a View
    16062 in reply to 16059

    Top 25 Contributor
    Female
    Joined on 04-25-2006
    Heidelberg
     Tue, Aug 12 2003, 4:47 PM
    "I guess it was a product of my mood that day."

    That's the best way to get started! But an idea usually takes reflecting and revising. In some rare cases it doesn't but that only happens once in 10 songs...!

    Good luck and let us know about the final version!
    Take care,

    Annika
  • Re: A Room With a View
    16063 in reply to 16059

    Top 150 Contributor
    Joined on 04-25-2006
     Thu, Aug 14 2003, 11:52 AM
    Lol!
    I suppose we've all been there...
    Interesting angle to appear to be hinting at thinking about someone you know (or wish you knew) in "what about you". There's a hidden question in the "looking at you though I probably shouldn't be" - could be read as 'not allowed' because you're supposed to be working, or because you ought to be thinking about someone else.
    Cool!
  • Re: A Room With a View
    16064 in reply to 16059

    Top 10 Contributor
    Joined on 04-25-2006
     Mon, Aug 18 2003, 11:04 PM
    Wow I really love these lyrics. I guess I agree that you could work a little more info or wit into the verses... if you wanted to. But really this could pass just as it is I think. I picture it having this really hook-ish music. What's it sound like?
  • Re: A Room With a View
    16065 in reply to 16059

    Top 75 Contributor
    Female
    Joined on 04-25-2006
    New York
     Wed, Aug 20 2003, 4:57 PM
    >Ian wrote: There's a hidden question in the "looking at you though I probably shouldn't be" - could be read as 'not allowed' because you're supposed to be working, or because you ought to be thinking about someone else. <

    Or because it's not polite to stare. ;)
  • Re: A Room With a View
    16066 in reply to 16059

    Top 75 Contributor
    Female
    Joined on 04-25-2006
    New York
     Wed, Aug 20 2003, 5:04 PM
    Thanks for the feedback guys! I appreciate the comments- it's always good to see things with a new set of eyes.

    As for the sound...I'm not sure yet! In my mind as I was writing it, it sounded like an Aimee Mann song. Which is odd, because when I write I'm never thinking of a particular style or artist. I don't know, maybe I had been listening to "Lost In Space" that day or something.

    But now that I have your encouraging comments I will start working on some chords/melody for it!

    Cheers,
    Kathleen
  • Re: A Room With a View
    16067 in reply to 16059

    Top 75 Contributor
    Female
    Joined on 04-25-2006
    New York
     Mon, Jul 31 2006, 9:21 PM
    Wow, so 3 years later (almost to the day...considering it will be August tomorrow)
    I finally put this piece of fluff to music!

    And as I was doing so I thought of the encouraging Towie comments. I have a feeling some of the words will be revised now that I have chords set. I just wanted to let you guys know, although it took me a very long time, that your comments did help and once I get my ass in gear I will hopefully have more to share!
  • Re: A Room With a View
    17748 in reply to 16067

    Top 500 Contributor
    Joined on 05-03-2007
     Thu, May 03 2007, 3:33 PM
    cool, do your thing
  • Re: A Room With a View
    17760 in reply to 16059

    Top 150 Contributor
    Female
    Joined on 10-09-2006
    Hereford, UK
     Fri, May 04 2007, 5:31 AM

    Well, I've got to say, I love it!, when I red it, I immediatly thought of Suzanne!, It sounds to me like there should be a sweet, catchy melody!, reminds me of Thoms diner a bit, keep it up,

     


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